I maintain this theory that when I die, I’ll have access to a really big book of personalized statistics. Things like, “Hours spent watching Doctor Who,” or “Hours spent sleeping,” and the like will be in there.
Then there will be the more obscure facts, like…
“Average length of time before Gabby gets bored with significant other.”
“Number of times significant others have accidentally said, ‘I love you.'”
“Average time for ex-boyfriends to acquire new significant other after ending relationships with Gabby.”
It would be a fantastical read, I imagine.